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By JohnC on
10/25/2008 7:26 AM
 Margie's obituary (written by Peter, but since fiddled around with by a handful of other family members) has been sent to Boulder's Daily Camera newspaper to be run this Sunday. It also has been picked up in the November Clear Light Messenger, the Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder's newsletter. Both obituaries can be viewed or downloaded from the Recollections page.
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By JohnC on
10/25/2008 6:46 AM
 Here is a tad of travel guidance: 1. As you land in Denver, appreciate the pair of guardian gargoyle's, in Terry Allen's Notre Denver sculpture. They will ensure your luggage arrives safe and sound. 2. Google lists many private shuttles to Boulder, but I generally just take the Regional Transportation District (RTD) express coach bus service, route AB, as it is convenient, fast, and inexpensive. 3. Several of Margie's friends have offered their guest rooms for out-of-town guests. If you would like to take advantage of these kind offers, please contact Anne or John and we'll get you set up! 4. We've not used any of Boulder's many hotels, so can't recommend any in particular. Please feel free to post a comment below with what you've found - to help others zero in on likely candidates. You might check out these though: - Boulderado: www.boulderado.com - downtown, on the busy pedestrian mall, classy old hotel filled with antiques. If you are a light sleeper, ask if the new wing is quieter than the old rooms above the bar
- St Julien Boulder's Hotel and Spa: www.stjulien.com - new, swank and probably $$$, close to downtown and the Boulder Creek park
- Millennium Harvest House: www.millenniumhotels.com - standard big hotel, a couple miles east of town. Not so convenient if you are without a car
- Boulder Outlook: www.boulderoutlook.com - new hotel
The Boulder Visitor's Bureau is at: www.bouldercoloradousa.com in case that is of any help. 5. Please contact Anne or John if you are coming from out-of-town (tell us of others coming too!), so we have a list in case there are any updates or additional gatherings.
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By JohnC on
10/25/2008 5:52 AM
 Margie periodically enjoyed doing some painting and a bit of other art, especially in the 1980's and 1990's while on vacation. While she primarily did watercolors, she may have done some other forms of art on occasion. She took some classes too. She gave her watercolor mats to Anne to be reused, as the mats can be fairly pricey. Otherwise she was going to toss them out, not thinking them worth saving. Fortunately Anne saved the art! The kids all had a chance to get a few of mom's art, and today, we finally got pictures of them up on the site, in the "Watercolors" Gallery on this web site's photos page, for everyone's enjoyment.
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By JohnC on
10/20/2008 9:30 PM
 The church was unavailable Saturday, so we've switched to Sunday, November 2nd, 3 PM and confirmed this as the time & date for Margie's memorial service.
The Memorial Service will be held Sunday, November 2nd, 3 PM at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder: 5001 Pennsylvania Ave. Boulder, CO 80303 (303) 494-0195 www.uucboulder.org For an online map, go to: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=5001+Pennsylvania+Ave.,+Boulder,+CO+80303&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF-8&ll=40.006974,-105.245419&spn=0.028664,0.041542&z=15&iwloc=addr Note that this is the day we get off Daylight Savings Time, so do not show up an hour early! Please contact Anne or John if you are coming from out-of-town (tell us of others coming too!), so we have a list in case there are any updates or additional gatherings.
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By Anne on
10/18/2008 12:27 PM
Dear Friends and Family, I have come to my place of work this Saturday morning to write all of you this email. This is where I have the most current list of my contact names and email addresses. At home we recently purchased a MAC computer. This is not the right time to learn a new computer system during this time of loss as my concentration is not the best right now. My work computer is the one I usually use and it is familiar and reliable so I write this note to you now on this quiet Saturday morning following the death of my dear mother.  I want to let you know that Margaret (Margie) Sugar died peacefully at home on Tuesday, October 14th at 3:01 pm. She died with dignity with family members by her side. Mom was active the weekend before she passed attending her Saturday morning coffee group at Bread Works with Mac, her 86 year old boyfriend. Mid day she went with a friend to an opera TV cast and then later that evening to Mackie Auditorium for a concert again with Mac. When I called Mom on the phone Sunday morning she told me "the plan has changed". I said that we didn't need to go to church as she had requested earlier in the week. Mom, in a firm voice, again reiterated that the "plan had changed". I told her that I would be right over and that we could talk about it in person. When I got to her condo she was agitated and apparently exhausted from all her activities the two days prior. She said she didn't want to go to church and told me she was ready to depart this world as she couldn't handle not being able to walk up hills or getting into a car without having to lift her weakening legs with her hands due to muscle wasting. We spent time talking about her deteriorating condition and her wish to die. We lay together in her bed and spent quiet time sharing. Mom said she couldn't just rest in her bed as she felt she needed to get on with her day. Those who knew Margie understand that she was highly disciplined and never took time out of her day to laze around or sleep in. Time was precious and she enjoyed each day to the fullest. Mom then got up and fixed herself breakfast and I asked how I could help. Being one who always fastidious Mom requested that I clean. I spent the morning sweeping, changing her sheets, doing the laundry and tidying up her household. Mom seemed to enjoy watching me work and settled down while reading the New York Times. Looking back it felt like we were nesting just like pregnant mothers often do just before birthing their babies ensuring everything is ready for the "big event". It strikes me how similar the dying process is to the birthing process. Mom then took charge and ordered a pizza and I took a walk to the mall to get it for her. Later that afternoon Mac came over to watch 60 minutes and enjoy the pizza with her. I said goodbye around 3 pm and told her I would be back in the morning. Monday morning was a sparkling bright cool fall day. She met me at her breakfast table and we waited for the Hospice nurse to show for her regular Monday morning visit. As it turned out, Kathleen had come on Friday afternoon and Mom forgot so we waited until we called the Hospice office and they told us that Kathleen was on vacation. Looking back now, I am glad for this time as it gave my Mom and I our last chance to talk. Mom again reiterate how ready she was to die as she was now tired of saying goodbye and answering numerous phone calls. Mom was experiencing increasing pain and pressure from the growing abdominal tumors. The Hospice nurse encouraged her to take increasing amounts of pain medications to match her increasing pain level. Mom was aware of the muscle wasting and her decreasing mental acuity from her disease and the pain meds. I asked Mom if I could stay with her that morning but she shooed off to work being the independent person that she was. She said we couldn't just spend the day just "looking at each other". I hugged and kissed her good bye and told her I loved her. I was concerned and worried all day and returned to her home after work on Monday. I found her in bed semi conscious. I spent the night with Mom as she slipped deeper and deeper into unconsciousness. Her breathing became increasingly irregular. At 7 am Tuesday morning I called her doctor and he quickly came to visit her. Dr. T confirmed that she was in the dying process. He retned again at noon to check on Mom. I called Tait and Arv and they came to be by Mom's side with me. Early afternoon Mom's breathing pattern changed and became more shallow. At 3:01 pm she took her last breath, all the while letting go of life. So you see, she passed in peace and left this world quickly as she had so wished.  We are now in the throws of planning a Memorial Service at the Unitarian Universalist Church on Pennsylvania Ave in Boulder her congregation of more than 30 years. The family is honing in on November 1st at 1 pm but final arrangements have not yet been completed. The best place to learn more about the upcoming service will be on the website msugar.com. As recommended by the Mortuary,we will place Margie's obituary in the Daily Camera the Sunday prior to her service. If I have left off a friend please feel free to forward this message. Mom is now released from the cancer that was taking over her body. Her physical body was cremated on Friday but her soul lives on through the countless memories that we have of her. She was a mentor for many and a friend to all that she touched. Lots of Love, Anne Donovan (Margie's third child who lives in Boulder)
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By JohnC on
10/18/2008 5:35 AM
UPDATE: the service will be held Sunday, November 2nd at 3 PM, NOT Saturday as we had tentatively thought. Thanks everyone for all your kind words and notes. Margie's death has left a huge hole for the family and is only slightly soothed by knowing mom is freed from her pains and lived her life fully. As we've sometimes joked, Margie would often get impatient to complete her projects and (given the cancer's inevitable outcome) she was even impatient to die. It still came too soon for the rest of us and every day we think of things we would like to share with her - but now can't. The pain of her absence reflects the worth of her presence. Please know that it may change, but for those needing to schedule travel arrangements, it looks like we're settling in on Saturday, November 1st at 1 PM to hold the Memorial Service in Boulder. If this creates a problem, please let one of us kids know this weekend. We'll post updated info here once this gets firmed up, in the next day or two.
The Memorial Service has been confirmed and will be held Sunday, November 2nd, 3 PM at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder: 5001 Pennsylvania Ave.
Boulder, CO 80303
(303) 494-0195
www.uucboulder.org For an online map, go to: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=5001+Pennsylvania+Ave.,+Boulder,+CO+80303&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF-8&ll=40.006974,-105.245419&spn=0.028664,0.041542&z=15&iwloc=addr Note that this is the day we get off Daylight Savings Time, so do not show up an hour early! Please contact Anne or John if you are coming from out-of-town (tell us of others coming too!), so we have a list in case there are any updates or additional gatherings.
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By JohnC on
10/14/2008 2:55 PM
 I just received word from Anne that Margie passed away at 3:01 PM MST today, with Anne, Arvadus and Tait at her bedside. She had not woken from her sleep last night and died peacefully, in minimal pain and without imposing upon others. Mom died as she had always desired: without a fuss and in a dignified, straightforward way... Cherish your time with her as she did hers with each of you.
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By JohnC on
10/14/2008 10:07 AM
 This Saturday Mom went out to Breadworks with Mack to socialize with one of their groups of friends, then attended the NY Met's HD's production of Richard Strauss' Salome Opera, and that evening attended the Kavafian Schub Shifrin Trio playing Mozart, Stravinsky, Bruch & Bartok at Macky Auditorium -- a very busy day!
Sunday though she was out of sorts and needed some comforting and reassurance from Anne. Anne reports Margie has been more vulnerable these past few weeks and how tender that has been. She did vote - which had been one of her key objectives before dying! Yesterday, Peter and Jill talked to her early on, as Jill notes in her comments. Mom indicated she wasn't long for the world. Anne stopped by in the morning and then again after work. Margie was having trouble breathing and so Anne made her comfortable and spent the night with her. Today, Margie has not awoken, and her breaths are shallow. While she may recover, she may not. Those close to her know that faced with an incurable cancer, mom has made her peace with friends, family and self and would truly relish a quick end to things as her tumors are growing and making her uncomfortable. We'll keep you posted here, but have Margie in your thoughts and prayers these next days.
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By Jill on
10/5/2008 11:47 AM
 Once again, Peter and I are getting ready to head back to Oregon. It was easier leaving last month because we knew we were coming back to see Margie again within 3 weeks. But this time we are not sure when we will be back and what the circumstances will be. We enjoyed a lovely yummy breakfast this morning at Anne and Arv's with Margie and Mack, Ellen and Jerry, and sisters Abby and Grace. I love these times of gathering and feasting and sharing! Our moments together are as sweet as all these lovely brilliant fall colors, the golds of the trembling aspens resplendent in the mountains and fall air. Margie is still very much 'in charge' these days, and expresses curiousity at this adventure of her dying. There are no road maps for any of us on this journey, it seems. So much 'letting go' to 'do', and on so many levels. But Margie smiles after asking her questions about how she will go, and graciously let's go of needing to know. Moment to moment. Margie loves the opportunity to get out and still be very engaged in life.This afternoon she and Mack are going dancing to some swing jazz! And she loves the 'distraction' of having visitors, and preparing meals for them. Although she did express some frustration at finding herself without some ingredients at times and having no way to get out shopping for them independently. But again, that smile and the versitility of finding something else to cook up or substitute with. Peter and I arrived back last evening, from a wee road trip into New Mexico, to Margie's home cooking - a lovely pot roast and chocolate cake!! Such a treat! Margie is still pacing herself carefully, enjoying her naps throughout the day. And she still enjoys hearing others stories more than talking about herself, finding it less tiring to do so these days. Her abdominal tumor(s) are growing and causing her some pain at times, but her meds are keeping her comfy. Watch those robust hugs though! Margie's complete openness and honesty continue to help me as we all continue forward into this uncertainty. I can't help but notice how similar it is to my nursing work of being with women in labor having their babies! I've been learning a lot, witnessing Margie's journey. I'm learning to live as if I were dying! Love to you All out there in cyberspace! :-) xxx
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By JohnC on
10/2/2008 9:15 AM
Yesterday Mom headed out to Peak-to-Peak Highway with three friends from her Tulsa days to view the fall colors. The aspens are turning now and the sights were apparently quite nice. Right now she's headed off to lunch with them too! Monday and Tuesday Margie & Mack headed back up to her Dillon Valley East condo and approved the carpet cleaning done by 4 Knights, took out a bunch of food that had been left behind and generally neaten'ed up, in preparation for selling this condo that has provided so much joy to our extended family and friends over the past ~30 years. Margie just reported that her abdominal tumors are getting enlarged again (as I first heard about 6 or 7 days ago now) and is dialing up her pain medication a bit, but is still walking and eating normally, without much pain or nausea.
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