Margaret Sugar's Site

Once again, Peter and I are getting ready to head back to Oregon. It was easier leaving last month because we knew we were coming back to see Margie again within 3 weeks. But this time we are not sure when we will be back and what the circumstances will be. We enjoyed a lovely yummy breakfast this morning at Anne and Arv's with Margie and Mack, Ellen and Jerry, and sisters Abby and Grace. I love these times of gathering and feasting and sharing! Our moments together are as sweet as all these lovely brilliant fall colors, the golds of the trembling aspens resplendent in the mountains and fall air. Margie is still very much 'in charge' these days, and expresses curiousity at this adventure of her dying. There are no road maps for any of us on this journey, it seems. So much 'letting go' to 'do', and on so many levels. But Margie smiles after asking her questions about how she will go, and graciously let's go of needing to know. Moment to moment. Margie loves the opportunity to get out and still be very engaged in life.This afternoon she and Mack are going dancing to some swing jazz!  And she loves the 'distraction' of having visitors, and preparing meals for them. Although she did express some frustration at finding herself without some ingredients at times and having no way to get out shopping for them independently. But again, that smile and the versitility of finding something else to cook up or substitute with. Peter and I arrived back last evening, from a wee road trip into New Mexico, to Margie's home cooking - a lovely pot roast and chocolate cake!!  Such a treat! Margie is still pacing herself carefully, enjoying her naps throughout the day. And she still enjoys hearing others stories more than talking about herself, finding it less tiring to do so these days. Her abdominal tumor(s) are growing and causing her some pain at times, but her meds are keeping her comfy. Watch those robust hugs though! Margie's complete openness and honesty continue to help me as we all continue forward into this uncertainty. I can't help but notice how similar it is to my nursing work of being with women in labor having their babies! I've been learning a lot, witnessing Margie's journey. I'm learning to live as if I were dying! Love to you All out there in cyberspace!  :-)  xxx